my-world-beyond

went to hell last night

the george wansted

last friday night before most go back to uni

why are soldiers in iraq being blown up when places like the george are left untouched

the 16-17 year old slags all done up shouting at each other at point blank range

the round of applause at the sound of a smashed glass

drunk fuck heads tuging on my hair as they walk past

the guy pleading to his girl friend after being caught snogging another chick

people i recognise from school who see me but pretend not to

not that i care, i have no interest in talking to them either

they can keep this hell

if this is what they all go out and do together i pitty them

i'm glad i have nothing to do with them and them with me

this may be all high and mighty if this is what the majority of people do with thier friends then fuck this

if you call this a good night out then the world is going to hell and i'm getting off

this is the downfall of socity

i'll leave on this

Obi Wan - "Mos Eisley spaceport: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious"

die die die you fucking pieces of shit

this is not worth the money any more you people are making me feel sick

the only things making this tollerible are showers were i can wash the stench of london off me after wadeing through human filth on the under ground and jordan rudess's solo albums

i'm having trouble keeping this in the can any more

i want to rip someones head off for the reasons of they were there and i feel like it

i work a shitty job now and i know that in derby i'll be lucky to get a job any were near as good as this one but i don't want to be here in london

this place is to big, to many people, the tube has gone from form of public transport to this torture chamber sweat box i have to drag my carcuss through monday to friday.

i can't stand it any more. i feel like i'm leaving a part of my soul in one of those carrages every day

i don't want to be around my parents and in derby i have friends

i want to get back to the freedom of living in the house in derby but i'll be living with the slob master 4000

more than any thing i want to be back in derby because i can be me, i can be away from here

i don't know where i'm going and i don't know were i'd rather be but i know it's not just away from london, it away from people

people in general

the sooner i get to know people the sooner they start fucking me off

i need sleep

i've playing with a yoyo recently

very relaxing and there are quite a few easy to lern tricks  

i have many yoyos now and am working into some of the advanced tricks

from cheap £2 ones to one which cost £40 but it is liquid smooth and a joy to work with

i even got one that tells me how fast is was spinning and an old school turbo bumble bee of ebay

i like yoyo

keeps the mind focused and the hands bissy 

plus it's a pocket size hobby and apart from fresh strings has little to no running costs

keeps my mind off her 

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/mask

i like the drums in the back ground 

i like the animation

i hate how it's relivent

last night i felt

i felt emotion

i expressed emotion

i felt good

the expression was falling to my knees and crying but it's expression

all is better  

apart from steph blanking my but i did dump all of my crazy on her

all of me  

so i find my self in a position in which i want answers that i want to know as i think they will help but i'll never get them as she's probable never respond to any coms due to the fact i'm nuts and she now knows this

maybe my brother had a point when he said i'm unstable 

i've never felt stable