Goldilocks and the three bears
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I don't know why this is troubling me - I should probably have seen the flaws in the story 20-odd years ago. If you have forgotten the story, you can read it here.
First of all, Goldilocks is out walking through the woods on her own. Where was her mother? Why was this child walking alone in a bear-infested forest?
Goldilocks enters a stranger's home: was she never taught to knock? Why was she going to a stranger's house? Why had the Three Bears gone for a walk, leaving the door open?
As for the Bears - it hardly takes a five-mile walk to give porridge time to cool. Why didn't they have their toast first? Why are Bears eating porridge?
Goldilocks then has a little sit-down and isn't happy in the living room. Typical spoilt youngster - not only has her mother let her throw off discipline and restraint at an early age, but she doesn't appreciate a decent chair.
Goldilocks tries the beds. Why were Papa and Mama bear in different beds? Can this story still be told to children - surely it should be Mama bear and 'Auntie' Bear if the PC lobby are to be appeased? Why are we implying Bears have to be married?
Goldilocks goes to bed - because she is tired. Yes, the story implies it was morning (hence the over-cooked breakfast). Obviously the child has been walking round the woods all night - again, where was her mother? Why were people not looking for her?
As I said at the top, I should have caught onto this in P1 and not now. Maybe I was too confused/bewildered to think about it. I lived in a nice rural Irish town with no bears - I was hardly going to care about finding their house or their porridge.
First of all, Goldilocks is out walking through the woods on her own. Where was her mother? Why was this child walking alone in a bear-infested forest?
Goldilocks enters a stranger's home: was she never taught to knock? Why was she going to a stranger's house? Why had the Three Bears gone for a walk, leaving the door open?
As for the Bears - it hardly takes a five-mile walk to give porridge time to cool. Why didn't they have their toast first? Why are Bears eating porridge?
Goldilocks then has a little sit-down and isn't happy in the living room. Typical spoilt youngster - not only has her mother let her throw off discipline and restraint at an early age, but she doesn't appreciate a decent chair.
Goldilocks tries the beds. Why were Papa and Mama bear in different beds? Can this story still be told to children - surely it should be Mama bear and 'Auntie' Bear if the PC lobby are to be appeased? Why are we implying Bears have to be married?
Goldilocks goes to bed - because she is tired. Yes, the story implies it was morning (hence the over-cooked breakfast). Obviously the child has been walking round the woods all night - again, where was her mother? Why were people not looking for her?
As I said at the top, I should have caught onto this in P1 and not now. Maybe I was too confused/bewildered to think about it. I lived in a nice rural Irish town with no bears - I was hardly going to care about finding their house or their porridge.
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Pilar
on March 11, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Goldilocks was so-called because her chavvy mum used to peroxide the brat's hair to make her look like a young Britney. Said mum was down the boozer with a bunch of lowlife one night when Goldilocks got fed up of hanging around the crackhouse where she lived with mummy and 'uncle' Slasher.In search of wholesome David Attenbrough-style nature the kid wanders off into the woods. But this is no ordinary wood. It's Hollywood.
The Bears are wannabes like everyone else in LA. So when their agent calls them about a casting session for a pilot about killer bears, they rush off leaving their untouched breakfast. The porridge, by the way, is because they are on a low GI diet to keep in shape without losing the six pack. The rest, as they say, is mythology....
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Moobs
(Homepage)
on March 14, 2008 at 11:22 PM
She sounds like an ASBO candidate 
