---

Fornicating flies

Has anyone noticed an awful lot of randy flies around? They aren't too annoying usually - at least they have the decency to not fly into you. The past couple of days, though, they've been too engrossed in passion to notice anything in their way. Bouncing into you, landing on your lap, sticking to your clothes, these hormonally-charged insects obviously have only one thing on their minds.

At one point my wife and I were sat in our garden and were treated to the view of a threesome, on the ground in front of us. This lead to a weird conversation about whether there are homosexual flies, dogs or cats. A friend of mine in school, incidentally, insisted his dog was gay.

As I write this, I am inside and being treated to more conventional fly-like behaviour. An average, non-sexually-charged fly is stuck in our living room and flying from end to end in the hope of escape but getting no further than the window. From the window, he looks behind and thinks "Ah, daylight!" and tries to escape- but finds another window. He buzzes and bangs his head off this one, looks behind himself and thinks "Ah, daylight!" He dart across the room to find... more glass. Bangs head, buzzes, looks behind, thinks "Ah! Daylight!" and flies directly for more glass, etc... ten minutes later, he is no further than he was when I started writing about his randy friends outside. Maybe he is a Puritan fly and cannot stand the depravity of his kin and their rampant Sodom-like orgy outside? His soul is so distressed, he is inside, cracking up and banging his head off the window.

A strange ringing in my ears

My wife is seriously worried about me.  I've been complaining of a loud ringing in my ears, especially when I turn my head.  It all started when we ate an out-of-date Lindt gold bunny.

Can anyone tell me what I should do next?

 

Teachers' Blogs

A while ago, I had to deal with a student who crapped on the floor, 'for a laugh'.  

In my day, he would have been soundly thrashed and expelled with no appeal.  In 2007... I don't even know if he  was suspended - most staff probably don't know it even happened.  Still, it got your attention... 

A friend directed me to at article in the Guardian on blogging by teachers and probably didn't think this rant would follow.  Goodness - you'd think teachers are all hard done by - two months off in the summer and they still complain.

Actually, I think we are hard done by.  In any other job I could pack up at 5pm, go home and if work was left undone it would have to wait and our management would have to hire extra help. We have to take it home, else we are deemed to be uncommitted and parents complain about us not working for their offspring.

I am mid-marking student work, in my time, on Saturday. Try getting a plumber for free at the weekend.  Why can't schools have the money they need to hire the teachers they need, so that the teachers they have can do all their work properly?

If children miss deadlines, we have to bend over backwards to give extensions. I currently have several pieces of work whose 'final deadline' was over a month ago, still to collect. I am the one facing discipline from management if I refuse to mark it, in my unpaid time.  Management insist I mark it, as our grades would suffer and that would look bad.

Management refuse to expel continualy unruly children or exclude them from the classroom. They ignore the impact on the morale and effort of the majority of good children.  Management have been out of the classroom too long.

Management refuse to give certain departments the resources they need, while other departments in the school are over-resourced and don't use what they have, but they are favoured for some reason.

This is a good school - though I am seriously considering a return to a non-teaching career. I'm glad I'm not in the inner city comp in England a friend taught in (he was assaulted and resigned, the child is still in the school.

Off for a walk, and to contemplate July :-)

 

The Letters...

...should have arrived on Saturday past.  No word yet.  I feel like a kid waiting to see if he has won a competition...

(see below if you have no idea what 'the letters' are) 

Most haunted -Live!

My bullshit-detection radar has just gone to full strength. On TV in the background - Most Haunted, Live!

In short - Derek Acorah takes a couple of people to a field and tells them what they are supposed to see. A moth appears and flutters. All concerned almost wet themselves (they have been convinced to expect a 'spirit').

As I said to my wife, "What a load of bollocks." Some people will believe it though. Mr Acorah appears to be making a decent living from conning people anyway....

Off to work on a more interesting post about my dysfunctional family.

Asking questions

In school, we encourage children to always ask questions. If you don't understand something - ask, or go read a book - don't stop till you have the answer.

It's a good idea.

Sometimes I go to public talks/lectures and the idea of asking questions remains - there's usually a Q&A at the end that lasts longer then the talk itself and is often far more illuminating.

So, with my awkward-hat on, I wonder why we don't encourage this in church. Imagine the scene if the following happened:
Preacher: Today, we're looking at Noah...
Random bloke: 'scuse me
Preacher: yes
Bloke: could he really have built that boat, way back then? Brunel struggled with stuff of that scale in 1800AD, not BC.

Or:

Preacher: If you really believe, you will have been baptised the way our group does baptism.
Bloke: Hang on - if X who thinks they believe were baptised in a slightly different way, does that mean they aren't really part of our group and aren't really believers (and are, hence, going to hell)?

It would mean preachers are far better researched in their topic.  It would also clear the air on the unheard conversations that I'm sure lots of people have in their cars on the way home.  I jokingly quote my Grandmother at such points (though she was deadly serious) - "You don't ask questions like that!"

Me (as a child): Why are the people next door who aren't married 'bad'
Granny: you don't ask questions like that

Me: Why are we 'right' and Anglicans/Catholics/Methodists/etc/wrong?
Granny: you don't ask questions like that

Me: Why can't I go to scouts in the Anglican hall?
Granny: We have out own church.  You don't ask questions like that

Me: Is God like Santa and the Tooth Fairy - made up to keep people happy and while the children believe it the adults are just pretending?
Granny: you don't ask questions like that 

On Sunday past, our visiting preacher gave 'proof' for God's intervention in our country - that Tony Blair lost a vote on limiting rights for open-air preachers by one vote, and that TB himself was the missing MP. Now hang on - what about the votes TB has won, that are decidedly un-Christian - what are they proof of?  Cliche, yes - proof... no.  Answer the questions, don't give a cliche and dodge the issue!

Off to be a heretic somewhere else now....