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Christmas cards? Bah! Humbug!

Can I write this on my Christmas cards?  Please?

"We have not seen each other or spoken in several years.

"When i write on your card "To John, Mary and family" it is because I honestly cannot remember the names of your children or how many children you have. For that matter, I do not know if you have children.

"The fact you signed your card "From John and Mary", with nothing else on it, suggests you cannot remember if I am married or not, or who I am married to.

"So let's forget this pretence. I won't write the usual "See you in 2007" because we know that won't happen. You were part of my life at a time but, let's face it, we have both moved on. If we meet each other in the street (and recognise each other), we'll say "Hi" and that's it - so let's both save our money and stop this sending cards nonsense."

A trip to Windermere (1)

A few weeks ago we enjoyed a relaxing break at the Lakeside Hotel, Lake Windermere (not to be confused with the Lakeside Country Club, of World Darts fame).

If you Google for it, you will find the nightly rate is £lots and lots and lots. We did not pay this - we were on a cheap deal with Stena and were paying the ferry plus around £20pppn. We looked and acted like the cheap ones, alas.

Arrival (Sunday) was interesting. Lots of posh people enjoying platters of cake while we, having been up since 5am, walked in wearing faded jeans. A pianist played while we were given a tour with complimentary (not 'free' orange juice in-hand. An old couple who had arrived were not in faded jeans but were in their travelling clothes. They would have been at home with Alan Whicker. I don't think people dress to travel anymore - they looked very much in-place at the Lakeside though.

We were advised that dinner will cost £30 for informal dining or £40 for the six-course fine dining and took a seat (with our complimentary orange juice) while our luggage was brought to our room. The porter wheeled our luggage through for all to see - the old couple's crocidile skin set rested nicely beside our faded Next carrier bags.

After deliberating on the £30/£40 dinner options, we retired to our room with £2 sandwiches from the local Shell garage and Nik Naks.

Christmas Presents - think differently

This Christmas, make a positive choice:

Another "oh that's lovely, wonderful" Christmas present, out of politeness; or, a pig?

Instead of sending your friend a piece of tacky junk, give the money to http://www.sendacow.org.uk/ or  http://www.greatgifts.org/ to buy someon e in Africa a goat, chickens, TB jabs, etc., and let the charity send your friend a photo of a goat (or whatever).

This:


or This?