my-world-beyond

well

it's happend

i'm on the dole

now i can only go up

in theary that is 

to night i think i had a intesresting thought

i'm jeolous of mine most hated co-exister of 37 

to night we went to lucy from aross the road's mighty boosh theamed birthday party

i went as the moon (milky white oh so bright)

after mighty boosh theamed king cup most were most typsy

as one could be assumed of a girls birthday party the bottle started spining

i fucking hate that game

it's like gambleing with your own self respect in the hope of being there to see another lose all of thiers 

that fucking game kicks up a lot of shit from the past

being forced to play by friends at shitty partys and school discos

any hoo working to my point

liam as well of likeing to see him self as some celtic samuri ninja with specil mation to sephiroth from final fantsy

me having blond hair he calls me cloud when he's trying to make conversation or during (the fact is that ledgend of zelda: ocarina of time was 10 times better)

tonight or should i say during the early hours of this morning while the bottle was spinning and i was outside chain smoking in solo protest

soon i came to share my haven from the hoard of pathetic drunk people that were actually saping away my faith in the human race

any hoo still i'm getting there 

me and kirsty the night i sent my e-mail to steph spent a good hour, hour and a half just talking at first floor

unusally i did'nt get the feeling she was getting board of me talking and we had a good chat

plus the fact that she is a real stunner  

it seemed surpriseing to me a first a girl that hot and uberly out of my reach was talking to let alone appearing to enjoy my conversation and company 

at first i rekond that she knew that and saw me as a non-threatening blok of whom she can just talk to

the fact is i enjoy her company  

and that last i heard she had a boyfriend

i thought back to how i had cracked a joke earler during one of the bands that were playing there were these three girls doing this synked windwill to the chorus of this band and that this blok in a poloshirt went and stood next to them right at the front in an attempt to catch thier eyes, i pointed this out to her in a joking 'stupid basterd, he thinks that will work' kinda way and as i spoke polo shirt was pushed out the way a well groomed indie like kid who sort of stared into space over thier side of the stage. i figuerd he was trying to look the interlectual

that just made me laugth

later on at the bar we started talking 

then it kinda set in that she might kinda like me

at one point she said how she was now single and i thought of sharing my steph saga but we just chated along 

the point (finaly)

during the boosh party she and liam were one of those playing and he got to snog her twice, i found my self feeling really gelous for the first time in a long time

i'd almost forgetten what it felt like

any hoo i know that he likes her same as me and he's on the same coarse as her but usally when we have post and pre 1st floor drinks at our house he usally ignors her for jen who is having a thing with will any way but jen is even hotter and has a great personallity

but jen is basicly having a thing with will while holding a boyriend at home in cornwall

i fel bad things on the wind for him 

so here i stand feeling like cloud even more

facing up to a long haired, trench coated bad guy who needs to wash more and dose not contribute to house hold chors

in love and life

the problem is that
i belive that my mild dis respect for his existents and any thing to do with him might get in the way of my inteligent thinking

plus i'm still waiting to hear back from steph

wait and see me tinks