my-world-beyond

well

mums responce was to tell me to finish uni or die (not her exact words but they may as well have been)

dad responded with his useall distance and stated the obvious 

mat asked me if thats what i really want to do and said that mum won't have it

i was'nt hopeing for support in my choice but at least some acceptence that it's my diecision would be nice 

i have no intention to return to my course and i have been told to study by mum

all ways treats me like a child

ok i'm 19 and i don't claim to be an independent person but i have enougth gasp on the world to know that i'm putting my self in a hard, cold place 

i'm going to have to proove my self to my self first then i'll proove it to her or fail trying

if i have to be a pig headed basterd i will 

i think prooving her wrong is a good incentive

in the mean time

i've bought a xbox 360

it will remain in the box untill i have a job

when i get a job i will plan my next step

current runners in the next step race are

1. armed forces (not the army)

2. trade (could chase up that carpenter idea of gcse fame)

3. different course at uni  

an outside runner is emigrate to gib and getting my self a job there to be with steph

that depends on what happends over new years

and the fact is that this could be nothing but a pink dragon (south park reference link ) 

but i like it all the same  

another outside runner is scaming the dole for the rest of my life but that ain't cool or clever

potentially i could just end up opening the 360 when i get back to derby and buying halo 3, an ounce of the finest weed in all the midlands and about 12 litres of red rooster

nuth said  

in the mean time it's christmass soon and in 8 days i'll be holding her in my arms

fuck christmass new years i gonna be the shit

it's on

i'm going to gib to be with her for new years

any way if your a randomer who can speak spanish i could use your help

the first thing i want to say to her is 'funny, you look more beutiful than i remember' in spanish

i don't want to get it wrong and those internet translaters are no good (i know that from many french detentions) plus i have no flare for languages

if some one could post a comment with it sounded out for me i'll be very thankfull

in other events after two days of waiting for liam to say sorry to me i had to say something first (stubborn fucker)

i have no intension to be friends with him any more

i just want to co-exist with him peacefully

this will be hard seeing how much money i need to get off him and how he has blown every single loan payment on manga, anaime, computer games, dvds, cds and death metal gigs so far ......ever

every time

then he gets moody and rants how he can't get an over draft due to his poor credit history or can't hold down a job as he is a lazy fucker who does'nt take instructions from orthority figures very well

and of course it ain't his fault it's the banks or his boss's for firing him for being late for work two days on the trot

i might be sounding a bit harsh but i'm sure any one would start lacking sympathy for him if you had to live with him

things came to a head last night

i had a full on shouting match with he whom i am living with and haveing friction with

he was outside haveing an argument with one of his mates after we all got back from first floor 

i opend the door to say its cold leave the angst at the door and lets all just come in side and leave it

in retro spect i may as well put my head on the block 

his mate saw this as a way to get away from the pissed off liam and came in side

by leting his quarry get away i became his target insted

he seamed suprised that i bit back but i think he wanted to have a fight and i gave it to him 

i ended up kicking the door puncking a wall and telling him to shove it up his arse and that in the morning all i want to hear from him is sorry

i went to bed and ended up listening to him through the thin walls

i nearly went back in there

fucking arse hole dip shit

i still have no idea what the all angst was about 

i bit my touge listened to him had my half say as he cut me off, listen more got cut short 

told him i have no interest in talking to someone who aint listening (which is pretty rich as a said very little) 

he told me that i'm not listening (which is fucking priceless)

then we had a last word battle in which i go for the door and go to close it

he say

i open and say

he say close the door go to bed

i say

i leave

he say loudly i open

he say leave

i say shove it

i leave

he say  

i kick door

he say again

i punch wall  

i go to bed and let him have a hollow victory

people left in the room grill him and back me up

 he want to talk with me

i want to pummle his ugly sniping face  

i say in the morning you can say sorry

so here i am waiting for him to say sorry  

i may be here for some time