cul's comfy corner

why is it always the story of poor old noah that gets abused in my class of waynes?

last year we heard all about noah's aardvaark.  that made me giggle.

this year we had the story of "the animals going on to noah's arse by two by two".  that made me nearly wet myself.  such are the perils of teaching four year olds.

we talked about the story some more and i questioned gently about what happened when the water started to go down.  "then noah told the animals, 'get off my boat!'" 

*giggle* 

i lost an important folder and needed to find it quick.

given the nature of my job, i have hundreds of folders for reference and such, things i don't use very often but need to have them at hand when i do.  i keep these folders in a fairly inaccessible cupboard that is mostly hidden by my bank of filing cabinets.   as luck would have it, today's folder was in said cupboard.

the prospect of moving an entire filing cabinet was almost too much to bear just to grab a folder and check some numbers, especially when i could see the folder and almost touch it if i pressed very close to the filing cabinet.

i shuffled the filing cabinet out of the way and squeezed myself into the gap after fashioning myself a hook out of a ruler and a pirate hook (always handy to have around) in true 'a team' stylee.

after much huffing and puffing and squeezing myself into the gap i had made, i finally dislodged the folder, checked the numbers and replaced it.  

it was then that a very inquisitive little wayne tapped me on the leg. 

"miss?"

"yes wayne?"

"that was a very little space you had to get in, wasn't it?"

"yes it was, wasn't it?  i had to really squeeze in there, but i managed it ok"

"i know.  it was tough though because you have a little bit big tummy and a little bit big bottom, don't you"

*choke* "yes, i do unfortunately"

"don't be sad though, you give me the *best* cuddles"

bastard.  cuteness. 

a particularly disruptive little boy in my class has just been introduced to the joys of assembly at school.

he's been practicing sitting quietly and not just getting up and wandering off to have a chat with someone five rows back in a very loud voice.

the vicar came into school today to do an assembly on being 'good' and wanted to choose someone to say a prayer that they could make up themselves.

inevitably, he chose my little boy. everyone held their breath.

"i don't know what to tell" he told the vicar

"how about 'dear god, help us to be good. amen?'"

"dear god, be good. army!"

it's not the done thing to laugh out loud during prayers...

so, working with 'wayne' today and he had made a lovely drawing of a star that he wanted to cut out and put on another picture.

the following conversation ensued: 

wayne: how am i going to get the star off here?

me: you can use these scissors and cut it out along the lines

wayne: rawwwwwr

me: indeed.  which scissors will you use?  those ones?  good.  now try to cut it carefully along the lines

wayne: rawr

me: wayne, you're making some really funny noises.  what's that all about?

wayne: i'm growling.  it's cos i'm cutting along the lions

tee hee *titter* 

as my last classed passed on to a new teacher, i have a new group of adorable four year olds to fuss over. 

although i no longer teach 'wayne' we still have our moments that make me smile and giggle at the new kids, so i'll include them here and 'wayne' is reborn.

today brought a mixed bag of compliments and criticism from two of the kids.  the first one likes to sit in my teacher chair when she reads a book.  that's fine, so long as she gets out of it when i want to sit in it.  today she was feeling a liitle mischievous and stayed in it, grinning when i asked her to move.  i too was in a silly mood and so pretended that i hadn't seen her and was going to sit on top of her. 

i backed in carefully talking very loud about being glad that the girl had left my chair nice and warm when she shouted 'stop!' i duly stopped and pretended to be surprised to see her there and that made us and a few other children giggle. 

she sat next to me and leaned over to her friend and said 'woah, i thought she was gonna squash me with her big bum!'

*blush* 

the second comment was more complimentary.  i like to pretend that i'm really rubbish at things so that the kids can show me how good they are at them.  today, i told them i had been learning how to count properly all weekend and that i was going to count for everyone.  i asked the little fidgety boy to be the judge of how well i was doing as this helped to keep him focussed.  

i was being deliberately vacuous and with a big smile i counted '1, 2, 5, 9, eleventy, 634, 987, 42693, one gajillion' then i bowed.  the kids were creased up.  i turned to the new 'wayne' and asked him what he thought.

'i think you're cute' he said.

job done.  one million house points for that boy and a new action man for him tomorrow *grin*