cul's comfy corner

well, about a week.

the news so far is this:

my dad is ok.  they've given him the all clear for his lungs and he now no longer needs to inject himself daily which his stomach is happy about.  the only thing he still has going on is the kidney cancer which we're hoping is only minimal now they've removed the cancerous kidney.

my mom, wow, where to start?  she has had a stroke and was paralysed down her left side.  this was brought on by a nervous breakdown caused by the stress of her own disabilities mixed with her anxiety caused by my dad's cancer.  the poor woman is in quite a state, though she's now able to twitch her fingertips and she can use a zimmer frame to drag herself to the toilet now.  she's still in hospital as the pressure on her brain is immense and she's suffering from severe migraine still caused by the stroke damage to her brain.  

my sister who lives up there is a nervous wreck because she had to deal with two emergency trips to the hospital within a week as well as the stress of being the only person with a car nearby to help my parents.  she also has 3 children to deal with and so stopping her crying was one of our main priorities.

my sister who lives near(ish) mehas been devastated by the news that both my mother and father are very ill because it coincides with one of her particularly bad migraine attacks that leaves her devastated and often hospitalised. her boyfriend was unfairly dismissed the other day and is launching an appeal too, so she's got plenty to worry about at the moment.

when my brother learned that mom was in an ambulance on the way to hospital, he punched a hole in the wall and door.  he's pretty angry about everything.  he's here with me right now, i've got his friend here too.  having them both around gives me something else to think about and it gives hiim a break.  we're having a great time, larking about and getting into all kinds of trouble. 

as for me, i'm fine.  i feel rather...'cold' i guess.  i can't panic any more, i've just got to deal with what is thrown at me the best i can and then move on to the next thing.  it does feel rather clinical but that's all i can do at the moment to deal with things.

i'm around for the next few days, reading up on what i've missed.  love to you all xx 

wednesday dad was in an ambulance on his way to hospital, tonight it's mom's turn.  latest phonecall brings news that mom is paralysed down one side and is in the ambulance being taken into hospital.

i'm half dressed for a night out, still got work tomorrow and i'm going home on thursday anyways but i may be driving home through the night and to the hospital.

how do people cope with this?  i just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. 

*bring bring* phonecall from sis on wednesday evening to say dad was in an ambulance on his way to hospital with chest pains.  ecg came back ok but they kept him in as a precaution, given his history. 

wednesday night: tried not to panic. 

*bring bring* phonecall from mom on thursday to say that dad's chest is ok and that it was just him being a drama queen and to shout at me for being concerned.  he has a blood clot in his leg and he was home in bed.  mom said she didn't need me in her life, telling her what to do. always nice to be appreciated.

thursday night: cried tears of frustration and anger. 

*bring bring* phonecall from mom today to say that dad went for a scan today and one of his lungs isn't working properly.  he's got an emergency appointment with his cancer specialist on monday at 12 to discuss it and what the next course of action is.

friday night: shitting self. 

so i have two cats. most of you know that. i talk about them all of the time. they're crazy. i know people think i'm the one who is crazy. it's not so...

one of them is very vocal, a total mowwer. he shouts me to let me know he's in and will come and find me to let ke know how his evening went. his brother is a different kettle of fish. very quiet, sharing his news through the medium of mime and trying to climb into my mouth at every given opportunity. or so i thought.

yesterday, i heard the call. "i'm in, guess what i found!?!"

"i'm upstairs" i call. i'm a bit perplexed though, as ant is laying across my feet.

up dec runs, bouncing into my arms and wrapping himself around my neck whilst shouting his news at me. bloody hell, calm it boy.

he didn't stay in long. he had a good cuddle with me, bit his brother's arsehole and ran out, grinning.

the next thing i heard was a sound i never want to hear again. it was preceded by dec mowwing "guess what i brought in for you, mom?"...

"squawk! screech! squawk!"

i legged it downstairs to see a rather bemused dec sitting watching some big fecking bird spinning round on my kitchen floor. it was huge, some sort of eagle or hawk, i'm sure. ok, maybe not, but he was hoooooj! the birdy was obviously injured, i had no idea how badly, but one leg and one wing weren't working so it was there, spinning and screaming all over my kitchen floor. i'm fairly certain most of the damage was caused by dec trying to drag it through the catflap backwards.

i yelled at dec to take it outside as he usually obliges. "not a chance, mate" came his reply, "have you seen how big that fecker is? you do it"

i kicked dec outside and picked up the birdy. he had a small wound but he was alert so i applied pressure to his wound whilst i secretly panicked and thought about what to do.

as both his wing and leg seemed to be broken, i decided to put him in a box and take him over to the orchards and think about what to do when i got over there. i fetched a box and placed him in the bottom when i went to fetch my shoes.

except when i got back he wasn't there. he had calmed down and seemed to be functioning perfectly well as he was trying desperately to ram himself down the side of my washing machine, currently beginning it's spin cycle. visions of his little head being splattered once the spin hit full throttle poinged into my head as i dragged the poor startled birdy out by his tail, aware that this was turning into some ridiculous carry on film.

thankfully, some minutes later i was on my way to the orchard where i released the little fella who flew off happily. i watched him for a while, satisfied he was ok. i returned from the orchard, waving to the neighbour who had watched me release the birdy from the shoebox. i feel it noteworthy to mention that this is the same neighbour who saw me release the sparrow from the pillowcase last year and, coincidentally, the same neighbour who witnessed the release of the rabbit from the flowerpot earlier in the year.

what?

so the gig was fantastic on wednesday but it left mcjj and i feeling very old after declaring our aches and pains on the way home.

athlete were excellent and we were really impressed with koko as a venue.  the best bit for both of us was the roadie who set up for athlete. mmmmm.  *whistles* 

i've decided i'm not that old, actually, just feeling it on the week that included 2 sports days, two evening performances of the school play, a gig in london and 200 tired and grumpy children.

can't wait for my big sleep...

*is learning new songs ready for gig tomorrow*

woo!

news just in. *beep beep beep beep*

there is no news. 

in other news, i'm tired. 

in more news, i'm sick and tired of people around me bitching, using the excuse of being tired or depressed.  don't use an excuse to be rude.  either get more sleep, see a doctor or shut the hell up. 

thank you please.