cul's comfy corner

well, that's that then.

i've had a lazy christmas with my family, which was ok.  it was kind of strange because i went all jolly hockey sticks and wanted to have a perfect christmas but the mood was somewhat dampened by a call my mother received a few days before christmas telling her she was to have her long awaited spinal surgery on boxing day.  

my best laid plans went out of the window and instead of a fun-packed alcohol-fuelled hi-jinx christmas, it was a pretty low-key affair with most of the time spent getting things ready for mom's hospital stay and me being at home and the vision of a well-behaved eldest daughter. 

i did manage to spend some time with the kids when i was home and that was great.  i adore them, i really do.  it's quite difficult with my sister's youngest one who is just 3 because we have to get to know one another each time i see him because he only sees me 4 times a year, if that.  what was lovely though was that he wanted to stay with me.  he's grown into a really delightful little boy with a super deep voice that made me laugh so much.

the most heartwarming part was when he came over to me, climbed up on my lap, held my ears and looked me in the face 'you know what?' he said, 'i love you, auntie tracy'.  i did, in actual fact, melt right there and then.  what a moment.

we had the usual disasters, as is the norm when i get to my mom's.  anyone remember the time my sister and i had to sit up until 4am wrapping bags and bags of presents my mom had forgotten about?

this christmas eve, my mom went to bed as my sisters, brother and friends sat around chatting until the wee small hours.  at around 11pm (when i was a little worse for wear), my mom announced that there were a few things in the cupboard that needed putting together for the next morning.  ok, not a problem.  i opened the cupboard.

so, how does one put together a scooter, a motorised bike and a mahoosive chrysler chopper bike with a spoon and a flip-flop when slightly intoxicated?

several hours and more gin later, we just about managed between us to get most of the stuff working.  except the chopper.  i just couldn't get the front wheel on.  bummer.  still, my niece was so happy that her nanna had bought her a bike; she didn't mind at all that it required a bit more work to get it going.

christmas day was great, but quiet.  it was a good year for presents - i had no idea i'd been that good!  santa couldn't possibly have checked his list twice, but i'm not saying anything =D

i took mom up to the hospital on boxing day and got her settled in, planning to then leave for my sisters where i would be spending the rest of the christmas holidays and new year.  instead, i fell asleep in the a & e department waiting for my dad who had a very worrying pain in his ear.  turns out my little nephew may or may not have pushed something into grandad's ear when he was asleep!  several hours later, i was on my way.

i hear from my dad that mom's surgery on her spine went well.  she is already massively disabled with several serious problems.  this time, she was having spinal work because several disks had fused together.  all i know is that she's ok and that it was far worse than they thought when they opened her up, but that she should be home in a few days.  here's hoping.

so, that's it then.  thanks for reading, if you did.  i hope y'all had a good christmas and that you're looking forward to a happy new year.

as for resolutions?

to be happy.  pure and simple.

cheers!   

the big sleep went well and i'm happy to report that i'm feeling quite chilled and relaxed. 

i swear i must have been a bear in a previous life, i can't get by without hibernating every now and then.

went out for a film and dinner with my bestest pal yesterday and had a lovely time and finished off my last few bits for christmas today so i'm in my snugglesocks and i'm finishing wrapping today.  i have a bottle of bucks fizz and christmas carols playing so i'm in for a chilled out day.

how are you all?  all done for christmas?

3 days until the 'big sleep'

i have supplies ready - chocolate, champagne, assortment of dvd's and books, warm comfy bed and time.

phone will be off the hook and i will sleep until i wake up. 

i'm a thinker.

i don't consider that to be any bad thing.

i realise that i whinge and moan quite a bit and it would be so much easier to be laid back and let everything wash over me and pass me by, but i am actually fighting that happening.

i refuse to live life with an indifferent attitude.  if i calmd own and let it all pass me by then i'm allowing my life to pass me by.  every day is valuable to me, i don't want to lose that.  i don't want to wake up and realise i've missed 20 years of my life because i just busied myself and 'got on with things'.

i guess i just need to find more of a balance than veering from obsession to indifference on a weekly basis.

feeling low today, money issues are making things very difficult for me right now so i decided to have a nice day today and take charge.

i honoured my appointment at the hairdressers a few towns away today and had a lovely haircut and had it blowed dried out all flicky and gorgeous.  then i strolled through the town and  visited the french christmas market, buying some onion bread and honey roast cashews as a treat for the weekend.  i popped into a shop to pick up a parcel, stopped for a coffee (first time on my own) and then jumped back in the car to drive home.  

during the drive home, i thought carefully about what i need to plan for the coming weeks.  i tried to work out what my situation was and how i would be able to organise myself, best i could.  my head was fuzzy and i felt a rising panic hit me.

to diffuse this, i stopped off at a lovely country park.  i pulled on a jacket, some gloves and my shades and wandered off along the sea wall for a few miles.  at the end, i found my spot and planted myself on a bench.  i sat there, swinging my legs in the sunshine for an hour or so, contemplating my fate.

so many people walked past and so many people said hello and chatted.  in a strange way, that helped me realise that things aren't so bad.  i chatted to a couple with a gorgeous dog for a while and walked back with them, playing with the dog as i did so.

so now i'm home again, feeling a lot calmer and revelling in the aroma of wet dog.

have a great weekend everyone

it was a great success!

everyone was crying by the end, but thankfully it was more parents than children.

of course, the fact that mary carried jesus around by his leg, two angels had a scrap and one of the stars tried to climb into the manger after pushing mary off her chair seemed to be accepted as part of the play

*phew*

one down, two more to go

*sigh* today's the day.

it's our first performance of the christmas play. i'm very nervous.

90 children's doing what i say and 90 children's parents with eyes on me.

i wrote the play and have co-ordinated it fully. if it flops, it's my fault.

trying not to be sick. so nervous.