cha0tic stuff

...not that good a film. 'Red Dragon' A brilliant film. Edward Norton deserves some sort of prize.

Bed time.

Into Brum yesterday not for a wank this time, but for the blood test that's nearly the last step to finding out if I get to outbreed the lot of you. The final step being a counselling session.

Arrived on time for the appointment & was asked to pop into the waiting room. Where there were two couples also waiting. Sit down & do the waiting room thing. Looking at the posters on the walls, deciding against reading the old magazines & trying not to catch the eyes of the other waitees but checking them out from the corner of my eye.

This section of the hospital is the Fertility Department. I learned that on my first visit when I turn up at the reception & say I've come "for the sperm donor thing."
"A yes you'll be wanting the Fertility Department, second floor..."
Now when I present myself at reception I ask for the fertility Department. I suppose it's better than saying I've come for a wank.

Anyway. Sitting there in the waiting room the wheels start turning in my head & I can only come to one conclusion. The couples are there for assisted conception. THEY MIGHT BE USING MY SPERM TO MAKE THEIR BABIES. Ahhh the little demon on my shoulder kicked in then with a couple of scenarios.

"Excuse me. Are you here for the assisted conception?
You are. Oh. Do you know if it's you or him that has the problem yet?
"Him? Oh. A-HA YOU MIGHT BE HAVING MY BABIES MWHAHAHA!"

Or

"Hey love. Do you want to cut out the middle man, I'll let you have a donation now if you like. *leery wink*"

Then the Paranoia kicked in. Not the daydream paranoia. The one that makes you think "Oh my god did I just say that out loud?" Phew, no the room would be in uproar & the blokes would be punching me. Another scenario came into my head. Of the couples being in the interview room with the doctor.

"Excuse me. That bloke in the waiting room, is he one of the sperm donors? He is. Er can we not have him as the donor father, we really don't want an ugly baby"

Before I could come up with any more bizarre mental meanderings I was called, had my card stamped & given a form to take with me to the phlebotamist. The Medical Vampire man. Looking at the form, they're testing for Blood group, HIV, One of the hepitiases & CMV. Something I've never heard of. Google tells us This about it.

So a wait of about a week to see if my blood as well as the wrigglers are good enough for the ladies of Britain.

I also got Memed (is there such a word?) by Loadofoldtosh2. So here it is. Hope it's spicy enough for him.

Seven things to do before I die:

 
1. See the Northern Lights.
 
2. Spend a few days in a Jungle, a desert, open water (on a boat silly) & high mountains.
 
3. Walk a long distance footpath.
 
4. Write a Will & leave my body to medical science. I reckon medical scientists deserve a good laugh.
 
5. Perform an act of Sabotage or an Assassination in a good cause & get away with it.
 
6. Plant a lot of trees.
 
7. Win a huge lottery rollover to make all the above possible.

Seven things I cannot do:

 
1. Afford to buy a house of my own.
 
2. Menstruate.
 
3. Sneeze with my eyes open.
 
4. Play the guitar.
 
5. Drive.
 
6. Swim very well.
 
7. Refuse the chance to try new foods.

Seven things that attract me to blogging:

 
1. The glimpses into other lives.
 
2. The windows on the world.
 
3. Something to remind me what the hell I was doing & thinking in the past.
 
4. The fun.
 
5. The people.
 
6. The Ranting
 
7. Discovering new things.

Seven things I say most often:

 
1. "Oh Bugger!"
 
2. "Ta.","Please" & "Thankyou" all about equally.
 
3. "Not like that you fucking muppet. Who the Bloody hell knitted you?"
 
4. "Pint of... Dry cider/guest Cider/Guest Bitter please." Or maybe "Oh go on then, just one more."
 
5. "Urgh my head, never again."
 
6. "Packet of Liquorice Rizla please."
 
7. *Cough cough cough*

Seven books that I love:

 
1. Glory Road, Robert Heinlein
 
2. The Wasp Factory, Iain Banks
 
3. Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
 
4. The Art of Travel, Francis Galton
 
5. Dune, Frank Herbert
 
6. Consider Phlebas, Iain M Banks
 
7. Whatever I'm reading at the moment.

Seven Movies that I like to watch over and over again:

 
1. Repoman
 
2. The Maltese Falcon
 
3. Blade Runner
 
4. Leon
 
5. Monty Python & The Holy Grail
 
6. 28Days Later
 
7. The Big Lebowski

Seven Albums I wouldn't be without:

 
1. Chillout, KLF
 
2. Exterminator, Primal Scream
 
3. Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd
 
4. Untitled (Led Zep IV), Led Zeppelin
 
5. Satisfied Mind, The Walkabouts
 
6. Space Ritual, Hawkwind
 
7. Moon Safari, Air

OK I changed the last one. I'm sure if people want to pick up on this they will & they don't need me to pass it on to them.

A while back Miss Mish tagged me with this Meme, to post a picture of my desk. I have a few desks that I work from, as I have a portable pal. The one at home is too much of a pigsty for me to post, so until I've had a few years to tidy it you'll have to make do with a couple of the work desks.

The first one is the clubnight set up, from where I camcast. Is there such a word? There should be.

Key:

 
1. Avolites 'Pearl' lighting console. All programmed up by lil' ol' me.
 
2. The Comfy chair. As used by the Spanish Inquisition. They expected me to sit on one of the useless uncomfy purple chairs that you can see on the right of the picture. For 6 hours. Fuck Off. So I er... 'obtained' the comfy chair. It's mine, all mine. well it is now. Skips are great things.
 
3. 500ml can of Apple based refreshing beverage.
 
4. Essential work tool (clipper lighter)
 
5. The Bane of my life. The Text phone so The punters can text their requests to the DJ. I thought of this idea to keep the scum off the stage. I didn't think it through properly did I? As well as keeping the scum off the stage it keeps the pretty girls off the stage :( DOH! They also use it to send in their moronic messgae for the laser display screen.
 
6. Experimental jury rigged cold cathode light. It gives enough light to work by, but isn't brilliant for the cam. I'll be doing some re-thinking.
 
7. Keyboard for the Laser system.
 
8. My Portable Pal. With 20six access & webcam running. I do love the wireless internet they have at work. I still need to sort it out at home. Another advantage of sitting next to a DJ with a portable Pal is that I can *ahem* borrow CD's off him for the ten minutes it takes iTunes to suck the tunes off them hehehehe.
 
9. The monitor for the thousands of pounds worth of laser system that can do all sorts of whizzy & wonderful effects, but is just used for cretinous 'A loves B' or 'Big up the C Posse' style messgaes from The Punters.
 
10. The Webcam. Check it out some time & leave a comment, or sign the guest book.
 
11. My Junk, bag, coat etc.
 
12. Out of sight the other side of the desk. The Punters.

OK the next picture is the same desk, just without the flash & a bit more 'atmospheric'

This is another of my desks. This time in the office. It's one of those slide the surface out type desks, so it takes up less space when I'm not in the office. Something I like to do. Not be in the office, I'd rather be in the back of a truck, on a stage or on site somewhere.

Key

 
1. Tiles. Yes it used to be a bathroom.
 
2. Fleecey hat. It's that time of year, a fleecey hat comes in handy.
 
3. A pile of Billy Idol T-shirts waiting to go to the crew that didn't get theirs on the night.
 
4. Print out of a map to find the way to Bosses wedding reception.
 
5. Essential work supplies by the Drum tobacco company. Remember kids 'Raucher sterben früher' Which I think is foreign for smoking is cool & hard.
 
6. & 6a Keys, keys & more keys. Both for work & the flat. I'd sink if I fell in the cut.
 
7. Money, Dosh, Spons. I was in the middle of preparing the wages. *ahem* that's obviosly why 20six is on the screen of the 'puter & not the wages spread sheet.
 
8. The Good old Portable Pal. Toshiba. What agreat company.
 
9. Ash Tray. Shhh it's meant to be no smoking in the office.

Now I just have to spend a while thinking about This Meme.