what if there were no hypothetical situations?

i'm posting this on both of my blogs as it means a lot to me...

three years ago i could've died in my sleep,

if it weren't for my friends insisting that i went to hospital.

please, if you can, give blood

someone else who did saved my life.

are doing my head in,

really really doing my head in.

i just want to shout at them.

while telling my friend all this yesterday,

she just said "alison, relax, and think:

what would susan kennedy do in a situation like this?"

legend.

there's so many questions that i want to ask you...

why has there been 2 years of silence?

why did i spend so long wondering what i did wrong?

why did you just 'change your mind' that day?

why couldn't i forget you? 

why did you still have my number?

why did you decide to text?

why did i reply?

why are we acting like the past 2 years didn't happen?

why do you still drive me crazy?

why can't i ask you these things?

you listen to a song/album and straight away it reminds you of someone? 

last night whilst tearing my hair out over my essay, i ended up listening to 'veneer' by jose gonzalez for the first time in months.

immediately i was taken back to one weekend last april...

i was driving home from gibraltar after spending the day there with my flatmate,

we were sunburnt, knackered, skint, but happy.

she'd just bought the album there for an extortionate price,

we played it on repeat for the entire journey, barely saying a word,

the roads were empty and we enjoyed the silence between us.

when you're surrounded by nothing but this...

...how could you not?

i miss her so much.

after writing 4000 words on an essay, i've just been told that i've read the question wrong.

poo.

luckily i am still allowed to come up with my own essay title. so its all written, my arguments are all made...

but what the hell is the point i am trying to put across?!

oh dear, this may take a while.