Youngmum

The last few days have been emotional ones. My heart goes out to Jane and her family at this most difficult time. I can not imagine loosing one of my parents. I am sad for her loss as a daughter, I am sad for her boys who wont get to know their Poppy like they should. I am sad because my friendship with her although fairly new has become one that is very dear to me and so I hate to see her sad. Those of you who read her blog know how sweet she is and so it is heart breaking to see her have to deal with so much.
My thoughts and my prayers are with you and your family Jane xo

Yesterday at about 4pm we got a phone call from my sister in law. She is my husbands oldest sister and although she is 10 years older than I am we are very close. At the begining of my relationship with hubby I found her to be a bit stand of-ish and cold but when we both found out we were pregnant at the same time we started a friendship that got deeper and deeper with time. I had Ella and only 2 1/2 weeks later she gave birth a little girl as well. Ella and her daughter are very close. As babies we would dress them in matching outfits and we had their pictures taken together at a studio near by many times. We had the bond of motherhood to share and it was wonderful to finally have someone in hubbys family that I could feel a connection with.

Our friendship grew even deeper on the day I found out I was pregnant with Allie. Looking back it sounds so horrible but when I found out I was pregnant I was devestated. My baby girl was only 9 months old at the time, we were living in a 2 bed room basement apartment and I had just made the decission that I was going to take the plunge and stay home full time. Having another baby would change everything. It ment we'd have to find a house to live in, which ment I'd have to return to work, which ment I would have to leave Ella. All of which was very un-appealing at the time. The night found out I cried and cried and the next morning I was so upset I couldn't even think strait. I tried to pray and have a clear mind but not much was helping. So I decided to call my sister in law.... I got the answering machine and hung up. I told myself it was a sign that I shouldn't talk to anyone when I was in such a state.... 2 seconds later she called back. She knew rite away something was wrong and the flood gates opened. I cried to her and told her all my fears, she listened and than cried with me. But most importantly she reassured me that everything would work out. She had amazing strength for me that day and I have told her several times that that morning she talked me off the edge.

When I found out I was having a girl there was no hesitation at all, Allie Joanne would be her name in honor of my sister in law. And Joanne was touched.

Time has passed and we have both been very busy with day to day stuff and I new that things were changing in their lives. I was aware of their close relationship with God and their desire to live their lives for Him alone. I love that in her and her husband. I wish I was more like them. 

Yesterday the news came. They have made the decission to leave all the comforts of home and go to the mission feild. They will pack up their 4 kids and move very, VERY far away. And they will be gone by the middle of July.

Happy and heartbroken are two emotions that really can't go together but they are what I am feeling. I am happy that they are going to do what they KNOW God wants them to do. I think they will make a great team and they will do great things. But I am also heartbroken over loosing one of my best friends and over the fact that Ella ..... *enter severe crying here*... Ella is loosing her little friend. They are not going to grow up together like I thought, they are not going to have sleep overs and go to the mall together....

they aren't even going to know each other.....

It's more than I can take in rite now. Everytime I call her I cry, everytime I think about it I cry.

When we leave for holiday on Sunday they will be comeing with us. It will be our last holiday together (where they are going they wont be able to leave for quite a long time). I am so emotional I don't even know what to do with myself.

I just want to cry all the time..... If you ask Ella at any given time who her best friend is she will say that "Abecka" is her "friend best".... I can't even imagine saying goodbye to them and knowing that Ella wont be able to just go see her when she want too. I am sad for Ella.

*more tears*

I better go... If I don't get a chance to write anymore befor I leave take care and I'll "see" you all when I get back.

Sorry for such a sap post to leave you with for a while....

xo

Things have been a bit hectic around here as I am trying to get ready for our vacation. We leave in a few days and I am trying to get the house clean and the laundry done and bags packed...  so it's been busy.

We are having our first ever sunday school winter carnival on Saturday and I am so excited. Hubby and I have planned lots of fun out side games for the kids, including a build and dress the snow man race, find the egg in the snow (this could prove tricky), tug a war (snow version) ;o), and many more fun games. I can not wait!!

Than the next day we are off to flordia. This holiday is needed in a bad way. I am finding myself with a case of the winter blues. I am kind of dragging through each day with little to no motivation. So a break from routine will be great.

I am very sad however about the news about Planejane's dad. I can not imagine the pain of loosing a parent. So even though I don't know what to do or say, I hope she knows that I am praying for her and her family at this sad time. xo

Hope everyone in blog land is doing well.

xoxox

That is how I feel these days... like someone has stolen 10 hours from each day. It seems that I have no time for anything anymore and yet nothing in my day to day shedual has really changed. I don't seem to have time to blog or read blogs, I have to work out at 10pm at night because that is the only chance I get, I am trying to pack for our holiday which is now only a couple of weeks away and it seems I get NOTHING done during the day. So did someone come to my house and mess up my clocks?

In other news, Allie girl turned 11 months old today... 11 months... can you belive it?? I can't. Seems like yesterday I was counting down the days till she was born. Wow!! She still only has one tooth... it's actually really funny. She is walking along things now and tries to stand up on her own. Her newest "trick" is if she is standing up we ask her if she wants to jump like "sissy" and she bounces up and down. She finds this to be very funny and laughs every time. She is priceless.

It occured to me last night that if I was returning back to work this would be about the time I'd do it. I can not even imagine having to leave Allie. I left Ella for 6 months (only because I was pregnant with Allie and I knew if I worked the 6 months it ment I'd get another year off with pay... thank you Canadian goverment ;o).... where was I going with this??? Oh yeah, so I left Ella and it killed me. I cried for the entire first week, as did she, but she was not so much of a mommy's suck as Allie is. Ella loved her daddy and she was content with either of us. Allie on the other hand want's nothing to do with anyone other than me. She want's her cuddles from me, she want's me to put her to bed (Ella prefred daddy). If I had to leave her now I think it would be very traumatizing for her and I am just very VERY thankfull that I don't have too.

There are days when the idea of returning to an office is VERY appealing. But just a few days ago I was praying with Ella and we always pray that daddy will be kept safe at work and that mommy will be kept safe at home with the girls, so when we were done praying Ella said, "Daddy is at work?" and I said "yes", than she said "you stay home with the girls?", Me: "yes, I stay at home with the girls, that's mommy's job", Ella " I am glad your at home with the girls mommy, you make me very happy"....... my eye's welled up, my throat go tight and in that moment I thought to myself that I might never have a great buisness title, or own a big expensive house, there might be many days where we have very little money but none of that matters, I have the best job a woman could ask for, I have the job I should be doing and I am so thankful God has blessed me with a chance to do it.

Another moment to bottle up and keep in the memory banks for another day :o)

Hope everyone is good xo

This weekend was very good... relaxing but fun. We took hubby's teen bible class bowling on friday night. Ella has such a blast. I love how much the teens like her. She knows them all by name, even the rough and tough boys who normally wouldn't make the time of day for a toddler, smile and ask her how she is. She is so amazing even at her young age. We ate pizza and bowled until the kicked us out and than we drove all the teens home. It was a great night.

Saturday hubby took BOTH girls and went to his parents house for the day. That left me with a totally free day so I called up my two girl friends and they came over and we scrap booked all day. It was so fun to just chat and enjoy a kid free enviorment for a few hours.

Saturday night we went to my moms for dinner. As always it was very yummy. Afterward we watched the Leaf's win which again makes for a great night :o)

Today we went to church and than over to friends of ours for the evening. The girls are in bed and after I work out for an hour I am headed there too.

How was your weekend?

First of all, what the heck is with my blog??????? Why can't I change the font size or type? I have gone in to settings and picked my old font and changed the size and it says the settings have been saved but clearly they are NOT!!! This is very fustrating and this is one of the reasons I left 26... it got to hard to do simple things... ARGGGGGGGGG

Ok, with that out of the way, I know I am late but I hope everyone had a really great Valentines day. Hubby and I decided not to do anything special as we are going on vacation in a few weeks and we will be plenty spoiled then so why bother wasting our money now rite? We also have the two little monkeys around now so getting out is more difficult than ever.

Hubby and I had a giggle over how much things have changed, a few years ago we would have left work (porbally very late) met up at some nice restaurant, he would have given me flowers and a cute present, I would have done the same for him (minus the flowers) and we would have had a long relaxing diner, followed by a yummy dessert and than we would have headed home to our little one bed room apartment for the best part of all ;o)... Instead today we gotten woken up at 5am by Ella screaming at the top of her lungs because she had a bad dream, she came and slept between us (taking up the majority of the bed), not too long after Allie woke up screaming, she too came into our bed, but none of us got to go back to sleep. Ella spotted the valentines bags that I had made for them and demanded to have presents "NOW MUMMY, NOW!!", so they opened them (well Allie didn't really care) and hubby and I exchanged cards. We spent the day doing laundry and shoveling the drive way (big snow storm), we headed to the mall and watched all them men leaving with flowers (ok maybe that was more me than hubby ;o), than we headed home where we ate chicken fajita's very quickly because Allie was having a melt down, we than finished laundry, put the kids to bed and watched American Idol.... hubby went to bed and I'm on my blog... My how times have changed...

But I have to say with faces like this, I 'm not really complaining :o)
   

Happy Belated Valentines day everyone xoxoxox

 

Well things went from bad to worse with my sister over the weekend.. I can't write about it all but it's not good... I don't know whats going to happen to her and I feel completley helpless. I have been telling myself that there is nothing I can do so I may as well not stress about it. This is proving more difficult than I thought...

I am also really coufussed about what happend here?? I was on my blog on Sat. night and everything looked normal.. when did the changes happen? I was only gone for 2 days... I don't like them either...  the comments sections is too complicated now and my exsaustion level is high so I can't work my brain long enough to look in detail at it...

So after an emotional few days imagine how happy I was when hubby brought me the mail today and I had a very lovely valentine from dear sweet NIkki. It brought the biggest smile to my face. She also sent this cute little heart game that I actually took a few minuets to sit and play. Nikki you are the greatest, you made me smile on a day that I really didn't want too. Thank you so much sweetie!!!

Oh and here's some pics of the fab card and game for you all to see:

  

Well I had a great weigh in this week, I lost another 1.4lbs bringing me to 16.2lbs lost. It is so exciting to see the results I want. I am only 8oz away from my first goal of 17lbs. YAY!

My excitment was short lived though. When I got home last night I found out some awful stuff about my sister. I really am affraid that she is headed down the same path as my loser father and it scares me to death. I don't know how to help her or what to say. Part of me wants to shake her really hard and tell her to wake up... that she is better than that and better than him. I want to tell her not to turn out like he has and that if anything as his children we should be trying to be the best possible people we can be.... we should be anything BUT him. I don't know if I should show her pity because I have always felt like part of my fathers problem was that he was pittyed his whole life and he used it as a crutch. But I don't want to be too hard on her either. I don't know what to do. So now I am an emotional mess, I don't know what to do or if there is anything I can do.

... and if I was totally honest, I think part of me wants to just ignore it and deal with my own life and my own problems..

isn't that awful....

I am just so exsausted of being the only one with a stable life that is constantly dealing with the rest of my family's crap...

arg, now I sound really pethetic. I need to stop writting now

A few months back we played a little game of guess what Ella is saying... I have had a few requests for some more of her wonderful words so here we go...

I'll type the words as she would say them... if you guess the most correct I'll give you a big pretty star :o)

1.) Guggle

2.) Awishes

3.) Wittel

4.) Baff

5.) Eber Eber

6.) Putter

7.) Wady

Good luck everyone

It is freeeeeeeeeeezing here.... today in the middle of the day it was something crazy like -30oC.... it's too cold to even go outside...!!! It's even chilly INSIDE the house.... this morning Ella told me it was "Too cod mummy, I need a blankie"... poor child ;o)

It  did snow today as well and when I opened the front door it looked so pretty that I had to take some pic's... I haven't down loaded them yet or I'd share them.... Ella helped her daddy shovel the drive way (he shoveled, she threw snow back on the drive way)... it was cute but I had to bundle her up in so many layers that she could barley walk.. she even tipped over once, lol!!! By the time she came back in she had bright red cheeks and a runny nose... lovely!

I have made some purchases from Ebay this past week and was very excited to get my first package today. It's a very adorable sweater for Ella... I had the baby version of it for her and now it fits Allie so I got Ella the big girl one so they can match... very exciting.

I think we are all better here now but my throat is still very soar and it is more annoying than anything.

Ok this is a very scattered post so I better go to bed but befor I forget I must also wish Miss DIVA a very happy birthday!!! Have a great day sweetie xo

I am so sleepy!! The last two days have been so hard, I can't seem to find any energy at all.... everyone in my house is back to their normal healthy selves (yay) but I am just so sleepy.

I need to be able to go to bed and sleep till I wake up... not the kids wake me up screaming or hubby wakes me up going to work, I wake up all on my own.

I'm thinking that will happen in about 20 - 25 years....

Sorry I have been awful at visiting blogs latley...regular service will resume shortly.

Hope everyone is well xo