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Of chickens and men...

On a recent weekend evening I was walking back to my car after a trip to that shop in New Malden formerly known as Threshers (I know it has changed hands but I can never remember the new name), and as I gripped my recently purchased bottle of wine, it has to be said I was feeling more than a bit of trepidation. A friend of mine had invited me to her birthday/house warming party, and since I only knew her and another mate who was going along, the potential was there for a fairly awkward evening.

As it turned out my fears proved to be totally unfounded. The people who turned up proved to be really nice, and after a couple of drinks against the background of some scarily 80's music from the stereo, I began to feel more relaxed.

One of the other guests seemed to have a pretty interesting job - her role involved practising hypno-therapy, or in other words, she hypnotised people. This reminded me of an event that happened many years ago at university, when I went to see a Hypnotist do a stage show in the Student Union bar. The hypnotist lined up some willing victims on the stage, and he seemed to use his hypnotic powers to great effect - one person seemed convinced that his legs had disappeared, another one was under the impression that he was a chicken and was waddling around the stage clucking loudly - what would have happened if he had been instructed to lay eggs was anyone's guess! Other people were suddenly unable to say certain words...and so on. Whilst finding this all pretty funny, I wasn't too sure about how genuine the hypnotic powers of the compare were.

 You are feeling sleepy...

From what this lady told me, it looks as if the hypnotist from my college days may have been genuine. It is apparently very easy to hypnotise people, and you can forget all the guff about having to look into the hypnotist's eyes, or focusing on the movements of a swinging antique watch, it can be done in literally seconds! To be successful, the receiver must be willing to accept the instructions of the hypnotist,otherwise it won't take affect at all. Certain personality types are more susceptible to it than others.

I was hoping that she could use her powers to help improve my Squash playing, but she said that quite a bit of background knowledge of my case would be needed before she could try the hypno-therapy. It was a bit of the shame, but the rest of the evening went quickly enough. Perhaps she is better at her job than she thinks.

Rotunda Conundra

In the very near future, seeing this film is definitely on the cards:

The 'Dark Knight' movie has a lot going for it in my humble opinion, not least because of the very wise casting of this lovely lady:

 Maggie Gyllenhaal

The venue of choice is my local cinemaplex, the Rotunda, in Kingston upon Thames. I don't know if this is done in every branch of the chain, but in the Kingston Odeon, an extra pound on the admission fee will get you a seat that is set at a level above the others, which is a neat solution to that moment when a twenty foot person decides to take the seat right in front of yours, completely obscuring the view of the screen, just when the film is starting.

If they can come up with a work around for that scenario when the slob with the overloaded gob decides to sit next to you and munch through a bottomless carton of popcorn, then I may even start going to the cinema more often...

Lofty Olympian Ideals?

Did you see the BBC trailer for the Beijing Olympics that was played on TV before the start of the games? It was a mini cartoon featuring some caricatured animals, which looked to be trying to fight some monster sized beast, all to the sound of an oriental operatic tune. It was only when a graphic of some of the landmark buildings (such as the Beijing Olympic stadium shown below) came into view did it become clear what the trailer was plugging.

 Arena of Dreams...

This was pretty good, and for me, it is the most entertaining thing in the whole Olympic competition. Don't get me wrong - I have loads of respect for the Olympic Athletes, who have spent many years and months in arduous training, honing their skills for their particular events, and they fully deserve any medals they get. My problem with the Olympic Games is that it just doesn't make for entertaining viewing.

A classic example of this is the swimming events. It goes without saying that to get anywhere close to winning a medal you have to be supremely good, but as a spectacle, it doesn't really cut it - it is just loads of Olympic type folk milling around a pool. To win at Archery you have to be extremely dexterous at loosing those arrows, but to the viewer, all you see are multitudes of people hanging around in a field. To be fair though, some events, such as the running and cycling, are better than others, but as sports go, they lack the excitement and drama of other sporting competitions.

Judging by the amount of TV and media coverage dedicated to the Olympics, it looks as if I am in the minority on this one!

Fruit and Nuts?

Something is definitely up. It didn't happen suddenly - it kind of crept up, catching me out completely after it had happened. The other day, on returning home after a few beers and some high octane games of Pool at the pub, I got that familiar feeling of the munchies. Not in itself that surprising, you may think, but it was at that moment that the realisation kicked in - what my rumbling stomach was craving more than anything else was....Muesli!

  wholesome

Whilst this may not seem like much of a revelation in the scheme of life's great tapestry, to me it was a real turning point as liking this kind of stuff runs completely counter to my lifestyle to date. Over the years, eating junk food, having a few beers, living on Pot Noodles, and the traditional post pub kebab have all been things that have helped make life great. Whilst wishing them no animosity, the beliefs and ideals of our veggie friends never had much appeal to me, as nut cutlets and vegetable roasts could never hold as much appeal as the mighty Half Pounder beef burger, especially when it is with cheese. So this sudden need for fruit and nuts came as a bit of a shock to me, triggering other disturbing memories such as the realisation I was developing a taste for brown bread over the doughy white stuff that I traditionally used to like.

All this points to one disturbing conclusion - I must be turning into a Guardian reader! It may be that this is just the top of a very slippery slope, and soon, the idea of wearing open toe sandals with socks, growing a beard, and snacking on bird seed will just seem like the natural thing to do!

Time for some organic yogurt...