Hemorrhage

• eat sinugbang baboy, kinilaw na tanguege or bolinao, ug sinugbang nokus. YUM!
• maui said she will drag with to the beach, i just found out it will be only a Badjang Falls. i need to go the the beach, dig my toes into the sand, dudes.
• if no one else is available to accompany me to the beach, then i will just have to go there by myself. chui man pud ng mag inusara! kanang murag korek! basta naa lang mola.
• i really want to see sunset and sunrise again by the beach, overnight's not a bad idea, i think, in the forest? in the cliff? in an abandoned beach? alone? graaah.. im afraid of Santelmo, bai! I dont like to sleep over at Lolo's house even if there will be a few gorgeous cousins.
• visit Momo Beach and the cliffs with shrubs and coconut trees, and butterflies and bamboo paths; ill probably dive from the cliff if the tide is high.
• visit Palm Island (kay taas kaayog shoreline and the sand is a very white powder)
• go to Puntacruz (labay ra ko ila danok) or Baclayon (ila Bentong dude, former drummer na chui ahahahahhaa! former drummer dili former chui.)
• visit cemetary if im forced to.

• kung dili matuman ang uban, puyo lang ko balay uy! magmovie marathon. total ako man gamhanan sa sala basta ako maka gunit sa remote. adto man gyud ko puyo sala kay wa nakoy kwarto, gihimo na nilag bodega! HMPF!

i did enjoyed my saturday not just because i was watching Hellfest. i had nothing else important to do especially on weekends so i dragged pina and palot over there in mabolo, cebu to join me watch some underground music scene. i was interested how local bands play old school metal. they did good especially some familiar ones. i can only identify Sepultura songs. becos back in my freshman in college, i was into thrash metal and i adore sepultura eversince (ehem, the max cavalera era). the guy who hired me to fill-in the duties as a bass player (in case their bassist cannot play) was there doing vocals. i was impressed he had that cavalera voice from his throat. i was there in Hellfest because of him anyways, he invited me.

i was just wondering why nobody played nu metal or industrial metal or alternative metal. i wasnt intrested in the old school metal anymore, except sepultura or pantera. i hadnt even heard from anybody if there's really a gig like that. i wished there is, somewhere out there. becos if i will not be one of the audience, i will be up there playing my kind of music. =)

 by the way, i was supposed to go see Hatemail last friday.

i wasnt aware until i saw red.. rushing down my knees. im scared. i hope it will be alright. two to three days, and it will be gone.

...i have been so alone."

started burrowing myself with doubts and bitterness, my life changed a bit. people see me completely okay because i could not afford being that weak on the outside and i can no longer be strong as i was with you on the inside. i can no longer feel secure and sure about things around me. if i could get away from this dimension, i would. i would escape this world. maybe forever...

i don't know. just hoping for things to change i guess.

• woke up too early this morning because i had a really bad dream! @^%*#^%~
• bought myself 2 pairs of Bench socks and an underwear at Robinsons.
• i assumed today is tuesday becos i think yesterday was monday, gikan ko sa Bohol. i havent got enought time to sleep.
• am bored because i am idle at work; waiting for tasks;
• Covenant is annoying me with his senseless texts over YM!
• busying myself with downloading mp3s from Multiply.
• made a playlist which i call downers playlist; i enjoy sad songs and that makes me damn happy =)
• just found out another two of our officemates confessing (or nabuking) about their love affair through Outlook spams, hehe.
• cant wait Friday!
• still wondering why my mother's cooking me my favourite food (shrimp!!!) last monday morning for breakfast. when i was there she dont usually wake up just to cook.
• am missing Danny. had a great time spending my saturday night with him. i miss the old days. looking forward to seeing him again.

...can cause a lot of crying. but even if i think im done with a lot of the crying, im still tortured by this haunting feeling that makes me very tired and very weak.